Dramatic Monologue/ Narrative Poem

Learn To Live Again

Why are you looking at me?
I still have eyes you know.
Seriously!
Just because I can’t move off this couch
doesn’t mean I’m not human anymore!
Everyone who comes into this house
sits in that chair
and looks at me the exact same way.
AM I A PUPPY IN A WINDOW?!
I don’t make profit,
I don’t charge at the door.
But maybe I should start,
10 dollars. Come one come all,
see what a truly depressed woman looks like.

She was only two years old,
and I know it wasn’t my fault.
Everyone who sits in that chair tells me this,
but yet I still can’t seem to convince myself.
There’s nothing you can do to control,
how quickly life can catch up with you.

She was only two.

I know that no one can ever be put to blame.
And that’s the precise reason I blame myself.
There is no way to prove what caused the leukemia,
but as long as I live, I will know it was me.
I should never have smoked while I was pregnant.
I should have cared,
I should have cared before it was too late.

I’ve failed as a mother.
I’ve failed as a daughter.
I’ve failed as a sister.
And greatest of all,
I’ve failed as a respectable person.

One day I’ll be able to get up.
One day I’ll realize she’s happy up in heaven.
One day I’ll understand that these things aren’t preventable.
One day I’ll be able to look at her picture,
smile and use her to guide my way.

And when that day comes,
maybe I will be able to believe.
That it wasn’t my fault,
and that I can move on with my life.

When that day comes, I’ll be able to
live and love again.